Hardware wallets are great for crypto, but research shows that 80% of users feel it’s just not fun enough to have a highly secure device protecting their crypto for the long term. Where’s the thrill when there’s no hackers or malware to worry about?
Now, Trezor is bringing that kick-ass high-adrenaline experience back to crypto. We’re excited to present the one thing everyone’s been missing from their wallet: game-only console firmware for your Trezor Model One!
Over a thousand gaming classics on one tiny device, more challenging than ever thanks to the revolutionary two-button controls. Go left, go right, maybe go left again — it’s up to you!
Helping to unlock the most enjoyment from your games, cheat codes have also been adapted to be much easier to input:
↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A is now just
← ← → → ← → ← → ← →. Good luck not cheating the system!
Loads of games will be coming, just name it and we’ll make it happen! For now, you can fawn over this teaser of the all-time fan favorite Snake II, running on a sexy anodized aluminum Trezor Model One.
Due to memory limits, each game will be released separately so you can still enjoy installing the firmware over and over, which we know has been the greatest allure of hardware wallets so far. Snake II is just the first of many games which we’ll be launching during our big rebranding event next week — more on that at the end!
I’m sold! When can I get it!?
Trezor game firmware will soon be launched publicly. You will be prompted to update when you open Trezor Suite. Always make sure you download from the official Trezor Suite app, otherwise you might not be eligible for high scores.
Do not run the game firmware without your wallet securely backed up. You will need some collateral on hand for our proprietary game Ultimate Slots: Vegas Revisited.
We will also introduce a subscription model when we launch our Tamagotchi knock-off later this year. These irresistible black and white pixel NFT creatures will be worth their weight in Ethereum so make sure you keep burning lots of gas to feed them.
Will it play Tetris?
Yes, but don’t pretend you care.
Will it play DOOM?
Yes! Thanks to our cutting edge virtual third button technology, you’ll be able to blow up forsaken souls in beautiful 128×64 monochrome!
Will it play Crysis?
Not yet. But we’ve got Tropic Square working on a graphics chip upgrade that will port it as a next-level VR experience! Just stick a Trezor Model T over each eye and enjoy the bland storyline first hand.
What’s next for Crypto Gaming?
We’re always looking to jump onto the next big thing and now that Bitcoin’s now been announced dead for the 404th time, we’re taking it as a sign to call it quits and move onto the next big thing. Expect more focus on gaming as we revolutionize the synergy between games and finance, or something.
As part of our new focus on hand-held gaming, going forward we’ll be rebranding to YoshiLabs. This is actually where we started off, then the Bitcoin guy came around and we thought we’d cash in on the hype like the iced tea folks. Clearly it’s been a failed experiment, so we’re heading back to our gaming roots.
Stay tuned for more videos in the coming weeks and don’t forget to watch out for the Nintendo copyright challenge we’ll no doubt be embroiled in from early Q3!
Published at Thu, 01 Apr 2021 10:35:46 +0000